Terror in the aisles--part the Third

I really have to stop taking my camera into grocery stores. I'm going to get thrown out if I'm not careful.

There is a new Ginormous Kroger near our house. It is not only a grocery store, but it sells furniture, towels, beds and other strange things. More grocery store than a Target, nicer than a WalMart, it is stuck in a strange in-between land, unsure of what it wants to be when it grows up. I hope they have good guidance counselors for young grocery stores.

Anyway. It is very Big and very nice Kroger with all new visual merchandising. Most of it is good--except in the Health and Beauty aisles.

First we have the Legs That Go All The Way...from the Hosiery aisle.
Is is just me, or is this WAY too much leg? I'm just glad she has her legs crossed, or we'd be having a Sharon Stone moment. This is on the hosiery aisle and it is indeed showing a Rather Lot of hosiery, but I just think it is too much.

Once I had recovered from the shock of the Legs, Mr. Ameliabee pointed me toward the Adult Incontinence aisle and this lovely image choice.

Wow. If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, I wouldn't have believed that someone, somewhere would think this a good photo for the Adult Incontinence end cap.

I've never seen a woman so, ummm fulfilled by peeing in her pants.

I understand what they were going for here, more lifestyle and artistic shots. The other cosmetics end cap has a Really Big Eye with mascara wand, and the hair care aisle has a lovely artistic shot of hair. This is a marketing strategy that makes sense--people are drawn to the big photos, the products showcase themselves, and you don't risk pissing off a vendor by not featuring them. All sound ideas.

Except for the near crotch shot, and the woman gleefully wetting herself.

On another grocery shopping note, I saw a man stealing at the store today. I was picking out potatoes, and the man across from me was looking at bulk candy bars. (they have an awesome selection of the little Hershey Miniatures in bulk, so you can get one--ha, ha--or one hundred) Actually he wasn't so much looking, as he was eating them. At least 5 candy bars. I just stared at him with my mouth open. He stared back at me, and wasn't the slightest bit embarrassed that I caught him stealing.

When I worked at a health food store, we jokingly called the bulk section "The Snack Bar" because so many people would just eat things out of the bins. I often said we should have scales at the door, and weigh people going in and out, just to make sure they actually paid for their food. My co-worker Gabe wanted to rig a siren that we could activate from the counter.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not against eating in grocery stores, I do it all the time. I'll open a box of cookies from my cart, a bag of pretzels, or during a recent sudden allergy attack, a package of toilet paper to blow my nose. What is the difference? These things are sold by unit--so I'll get charged for the box, bag, whatever at the checkout. Bulk and most produce is sold by weight--so there was no way for Mr. Goodbar to pay for the candy he'd eaten, even if he had saved the wrappers and not put them back into the bulk bin. So he wasn't just a thief, he was a Jerk too.

But, I wonder. How do most people feel about this? Having worked so very long in retail, I am sensitive to this sort of "shrink." Grocery stores (even the big ones, like Kroger) have extremely tight margins, and any theft really cuts into that. Plus it is just the principle of the thing--you can't pay for bulk food after you've eaten it.

So let me know--am I being an uptight prude?* And what, if anything, should I have done? For the record, after staring intently at him for a number of seconds, I gave an *aHem* so he would know I was watching. Didn't faze him.

*about stealing. We all know that in general, the answer is Yes. With a bullet.