Dontcha Wish...

I knew the Pussycat Dolls weren't doing well with their new album, but I didn't realize they were playing at Max & Ermas...

Sweets for, the sweet yeah.

(Double extra-special points to anyone who gets that reference!)

First off, want to apologize for the whiny nature of my last post.
Whiny, whiny whiny.
As Fun-Filled as the Ride of Diabetes is, it gets tiring at times--always thinking about what you eat, worried that if you eat the wrong thing you are Going To Die--and occasionally you just lose it, eat lots of bad crap and have a Big Bad Freakout. Sadly, you all got to witness the breakdown. Sorry about that.

But, the good news is that I am mostly still broken up with sweets. We did have one last round of post-breakup heavy petting, when I weakened and went to Graeters...but I only had one small scoop, as opposed to my usual giant sundae, so still on the right track.

To substitute I've been eating more cereal--primarily grahamy kinds of things and Kashi Cinnamon Harvest. I've also been eating lots of yogurt, especially Stonyfield Chocolate Underground Fat Free yogurt. I know, I know, chocolate yogurt is a lot like a sweet, but it is miles better than my previous diet choices, and has some actual nutritional benefits.

And besides, yogurt is the official food of women.

Sweetness, La da da da da da

(with apologies to Morrisey and Johnny Marr)

So. I've broken up. With sweets.
Yes, you heard correctly. Since Thursday, Ms. Ameliabee has Not Had Any Sweets.

It was just about time to get back on the Diabetes Management boat...I've been feeling like crap lately, and I know my unmanaged bgl is a big part of the cause. I have been feeling a bit better, in between bouts of feeling (both physcially and emotionally) wrung out.

Diabetes is a complicated and rollercoaster ride of a disease. I know I should eat better. I know I should lose weight. And frankly, I'm getting a little annoyed with people who tell me this as though I've never heard it before. For example, the checkout clerk who, noticing my diabetes supplies, comments on how much better I'd feel if I lost weight. Then, of course looks askance at the contents of my cart. Lovely, eh?

We SugarBabes know that we should lose weight--but it is much more easily said than done. Once your first phase insulin response gets messed up (inevitable, as your beta cells poop out) you get a bigger second phase insulin rush, which causes intense hunger, even if you are full.
I mean INTENSE hunger, and REALLY full. It is one of many contradictions in the diabetic body, but it is among the most frustrating. Every single night for the past week I have gone to bed hungry. Really, really hungry. I know I have sufficient food, I know my levels are good, etc but I am so hungry that it makes me cry.

I'm holding out hope that as I keep on the Sweetless Track, this will happen less, and I'll lose the intense cravings for the very foods that are Trying To Kill Me.

Going off the rails on a crazy train.

Oh, how I wish.

The Insanity Radio that is in my head is currently playing two songs (or portions thereof) in heavy rotation. Neither involve Randy Rhoads or Ozzy, more's the pity.

Track #1 -- The theme song to The Nanny

"She had style, she had flair she, she was there. That's how she became, the Nanny!"

I have watched this show a handful of times, and didn't realize I knew the entire theme song. Apparently, I do.

Track #2 -- A truly execrable Creed Song.

I believe it is titled Higher

I'm not a particular Creed fan, and absolutely not a Scott Stapp fan. The band was alright--decent riffs, very bass heavy--but the sound of Scott Stapp's voice and lyrics. Oh my. It doesn't help much that he made a sex tape with hookers that even Kid Rock derided as stupid.

Could be worse. Could be the Nickleback song.