The Return of 911...

By very special request from the lovely Ms. Leslie, it is time for:
The Return of the 911 Report!
For the newer folks out there--these are actual entries from published police blotters. The snarky comments are my fault, however.
Enjoy!

1:38: Suspicious person/ vehicle: Three trucks parked in the upper level parking lot at Mayo School, they pulled in and turned the lights off.
**May be part of new Stealth Parking gang…**

3:29: Advised they had received a call from a male subject driving an 18-wheeler with food products stuck on a bridge somewhere
**What kind of food products are stuck on the bridge, sir?***

2:13: Suspicious individuals on scene: Advised of man in area sellings mags, advised he tried to get into residence down the street.
**Caller advised entry attempted by means of ringing the doorbell…**

1200 block of Summit St.: Apartment was broken into while victim was at work. A total of 6 DVDs and a carton of orange juice was stolen.
**Burglar really needed to get his Vitamin C**

4:00: Harassment complaint: Male subject has ball bat trying to fight, Bridge Street
**No, no, no. You start the fight after he barely misses you with the pitch**

3:35: Public drunk: Caller wanted to report 15-20 people on horses, possibly intoxicated. **Really, what can you say about this one?**

6:20: Unknown disturbance: Advised of three male juveniles sitting on the guardrail across from Wittensville Apts. shining something into people's faces when they drive by.
**Caller suspects it might be a lamp**

8:22: Theft complaint: Request officer in reference to theft of extension cord.
**I’d check up by Wittensville Apts, if I were you…**

11:09: Has a female eating everything she can get ahold of
**Caller advises suspect looks like Ameliabee…**

2:34: Requested to speak with Unit 9 in reference to some fingerprints he had done.
**Caller feels the prints didn’t show the “Real Me,” would like to do them over…**

8:29: Assault: Male subject advised he was hit by a club, advised he was not hurt, then hung up, Powell Addition.
**The 4-H club? The Garden Club? The Stamp Collectors Club?**

And Finally, just for you Corinna--
9:00: Request officer in reference to a cat in her garage acting like its crazy and won't let her out the door, Euclid Ave.
**Caller believes this is Bob the Cat from Madison, Wisconsin…**

New year, New Blogger?

I've made the leap to the New Improved Blogger.
So...things might look wonky for a little bit while I work the kinks out.

I'm especially having trouble with images, so if there is a favorite photo you can no longer see, all my images are also on my flickr page.

Watching with my eyes closed.

I did not watch the OSU-Florida game, but I couldn't resist monitoring it on the internet.
It was a terrible thing to almost watch.

To all you OSU football players out there--because so many must read this blog, right?--you have my sympathy.

I've been reading some of the Sports Bloggers out there, and the level of invective directed at these kids is stunning. Back it up, people. It was a football game. Played by college students.

I have always been impressed by Jim Tressel's ability to lose and win with grace and poise. He is gracious in defeat, even more so in victory and that has rubbed off on his players. Witness these quotes from Troy Smith:
"Can't say enough about the University of Florida and their play. When you are going into a game like this and lose this way, obviously you lost this way for a reason."

"If this is the worst thing that happens to us in life, then I'm pretty cool."

Ah. Perspective. Doesn't that feel nice?

Go Bucks

I'm not a tremendous football fan, having come into a hazy understanding of the game only a few years ago. Any understanding I have is due to my tremendously patient husband who puts up with my crazy questions, my tendency to psychoanalyze coaches and sportscasters, and my continued references to things like the "special point" and "early going." Also that I really do like the Packers. They're a coop, for heavens sake...

Tonight, as you may have heard, there is a football game on the television. If you live in Columbus and aren't in a state of suspended animation, you know that this game is the National Championship and that Ohio State is playing. I'm an OSU alum, and while not a huge booster, I really want this one for OSU. For all of the Big 10, really. If OSU can win the title again, maybe, just maybe the Big 10 will start to get some respect. And maybe, just maybe Brent Musburger will stop being so patronizing about the Buckeyes. Doubtful on all counts, but a girl can dream can't she?

As a former college athlete (Yes, I know it is hard to believe given my current state of "fitness," but I once rowed varsity crew, played field hockey and was a cheerleader. Shocking!), I have a great amount of respect for the kids that play high-profile sports like football. College is difficult enough without all the extra work that goes into being what amounts to an unpaid professional athlete like OSU football players. I know, I know...they get perks, and they aren't very smart, and they are meatheads and la la la. To which I say, Whatever. I had a few OSU football and basketball players in my classes, and they not only got good grades, but had to miss tons of classes for practices and games. For every bonehead who screws up in a spectacular way (Maurice Clarrett comes to mind), there are 10 scholar athletes working themselves half to death to get an education.

But for all my boosterism, I don't think I'm going to watch the game. It may be partially that I am afraid that the Buckeyes might lose which would make me very sad. But, it might be that no matter how great the game is, it will seem a let down after months of incessant hyping. So in absentia--Go Bucks! Woo Hoo!

Once upon a time...

Or Auld Lang Syne, as the season will have it.

Once upon a recent time we drove down, down, down to Kentucky for an uncomfortable and unhappy visit with the Appalachian branch of the Ameliabee family. We did get to see my sister-in-law, who finally seems happy and balanced. We also go to see my mother-in-law who would test the patience of Job, and certainly tested mine. There was alot of other stuff you don't want to hear about--but suffice it to say that we were glad to put that trip in the rearview mirror.

We spent Christmas Day with our friends and their little ones, which was fun and frenetic as only Christmas with a two year old can be.
We also spent New Years eve with them, and played charades. I hadn't played charades for a long, long time and had forgotten just how fun it was! All I can say is...Sooz does a mean plague of locusts. And a pretty good Ren and Stimpy too!

To top off the holidays, I received the gift I'd been longing for from Mr. Ameliabee. No, silly...not a diamond ring or a Lexus with a bow on top. Seriously, I would kill Mr. Ameliabee if he bought a car without telling me first. Kill him.

So...it wasn't a car. It was a Chia Pet. A Chia Cow, complete with udders. Click here to see some photos...

The New Year is here, and I suppose time for some resolutions. I'd make one about posting to the blog more, but I don't want to give you an asthma attack from laughing too hard.

If it helps, several times I day I compose blog entries in my head, but since I can't stick a wire in my ear and download directly to the computer, there they stay.

I haven't been entirely lazy though, there are quite a few new photos in the flickr gallery. Check em out!

I feel the Advil PM kicking in and so will sign off...and drink a cup of kindness, to Once Upon a Time.