Tag, I'm it!

I've been tagged by the lovely Ms. Corinna.
So, just in case you wanted to know my holiday peccadilloes...

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate?
This is a hard, one, but I'll have to go with the Chocolate.

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree?
This Santa wraps, badly. My gifts always look like manic gerbil tried to wrap them.

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white?
No house lights, and if we had a tree there would be colored lights.

4. Do you hang mistletoe?
Nope.

5. When do you put your decorations up?
15 minutes before company arrives

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)?
My mom's creamed corn pudding. It is so sweet it is almost dessert, yet counts as a vegetable. Mmmm.

7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child?
My Grammie and Poppy would have us write letters to Santa, then they'd make a big fire in the fireplace. We'd put the letters in the fireplace and run out to watch the embers blowing out of the chimney, carrying our wishes to Santa. Sounds kind of strange, I know but when I was little it was as close to magic as I've ever seen.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?
My mom told me when I was about 5.

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?
We always opened the gifts from out of town friends and family after midnight Mass.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree?
We haven't had a tree for years--but this year we bought a tree stand, so next year we are LOCK for a tree. I just know it.

11. Snow! Love it or Dread it?
I love snow. Makes being cold seem worth it.

12. Can you ice skate?
Are you kidding? You've met me, right? The girl who trips over dust? No--ice skating is not one of my Many Talents.

13. Do you remember your favorite gift?
1,001 Electronics Kit

14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you?
Reflecting on the year gone by, and the people who made it special.

15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert?
Punkin Pie. With Cool Whip.

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition?
I don't have too many--Rob and I have a solstice traditional ritual of letting go and bringing in which actually requires the use of cookies, so I'd have to say that is my favorite.

17. What tops your tree?
Likely a star, if I ever manage to get my crap together enough to purchase a tree. We do have TONS of LED lights though!

18. Which do you prefer giving or receiving?
I'm rather uncomfortable with receiving gifts, but I really like to give them. If I were rich, I'd be like Oprah and constantly shower everyone I know with gifts. So keep praying for me to win the lottery!

19. What is your favorite Christmas Song?
O Come, O Come Emmanuel

A close second though, is Father Christmas from Warrant (long after the lovely Jani Lane left the band)
Here is a sample of the thought provoking chorus:
Father Christmas, give us some money
Don't mess around with those silly toys
Beat you up if you don't hand it over
We want your bread so don't make us annoyed
Give all the toys to the little rich boys
It is available on iTunes. I'm just saying...

(In case you care, my LEAST favorite Christmas Song? Rockin around the Christmas Tree. *shudder*)

20. Candy Canes! Yuck or Yum?
Love 'em!

The Ghost of Christmas Fake

We had Christmas this weekend with my family. Actually, Fake Christmas as my sister repeatedly reminded me, because Real Christmas is next week. *sigh*

We have to visit both families for major holidays--and they live states apart. Neither side is very charitable about visits to the other, and frankly I've had it up to here with the whole thing. We are going to see Rob's family over Saturday and Sunday and staying at our own home on Monday. I want to spend Christmas in a happy comfortable place alone with my husband. Is that so wrong?

Yeesh. We did have a nice visit however, which is an improvement over most Christmases past. This is the first big holiday since my father passed away, and I knew it would be difficult for my mom. I wasn't prepared for how difficult it has been for me. I never had a great relationship with my father--but the holidays seem to bring out the sentimental side of all of us, and we spend a lot of time talking about early Christmases, the ones before our family went completely down the crapper. It was somewhat sad, but somewhat nice, and I've had enough of the trip down memory lane for a while.

The high point of the weekend was going through our old record albums. My favorite oldie but moldy? Children for Dora Hall. Ms. Dora is considered the queen of vanity variety entertainment. Her husband founded the Solo Cup Company and apparently indulged Dora's dreams of becoming a star. From this wonderful album our faves included: Mr. Boogie Woogie, Tony the Pony, and the infamous Dr. Sniffle Swiper. Good stuff.

Next in line? The Disneyland "Addition and Subtraction" album with my mom's Most Hated Song--Ten Little cannibals. And for your enjoyment--here are the lyrics (the song itself repeated twice, and we played it at least 115 times daily) completely from memory. Yes, I remember the lyrics to the Ten Little Cannibals song, just don't ask my what my zip code is.

Once upon a time there were 10 little cannibals swinging on a vine
One tried to pet a big wildcat and then there were nine
One of the nine drank turpentine
Then there were eight
Then one more fell dead on the floor and seven was their fate.
One went in politics, then there were only six
One took a dive now five we see
One went to Singapore then there were only four
One turned green, and then there were three
One fell into some glue, then there were only two
They drank from a loving cup.
One became a skeleton, then there was only one and he...ate himself...all.....up!

Flashes...

And not hot ones, either.

I know I'm supposed to be giving up my gossip blogs, but I can't help myself--just a little peek now at then.

In so peeking, I got way more of any eyeful than I bargained for. As you may know, Ms. Britney Spears has been making a new career out of flashing her panty-less unmentionables to any and everyone. So now every one knows that what she has is very much the same as what we all have. Taa Daa!

But I digress. The real joy I've gotten out of this Series of Unfortunate Events is learning all the ways that people have of referring to the Thing that Britney is flashing.

Here are my faves:

• private parts
• nether regions
• her goods
• yoohoo
• her no-no special place
• her most intimate parts
• vajay
• coochie
• bagina
• vajayjay

I once would have said that we have more slang terms for male naughty bits than female, but Britney is on a one woman crusade to prove me wrong. To prove me wrong with her no-no special place...